Wow time flies

I looked down at the date the today and I noticed that it's Oct 15th. A year ago today I was probably freaking out because we were in the last 30 days before the wedding. I can't believe it's been almost a year since we got married. I mean if feels like only yesterday that we got married and went on our honeymoon.

This year we've decided to go to Orlando. We're going to Universal for 4 days. I'm really excited about it. We booked rooms at Loews Royal Pacific Resort. It's like we're going to some south Pacific island. Ahhhhhhhhh.....I feel relaxed just typing this now. The perks are that we can use our room keys to bypass lines for the rides.

That is going to be our anniversary present to each other.

No baby on board.

So we found out that a couple that Daniel was the DJ for are pregnant. I'm really happy for them. I really am.

But I'm sad on a personal level. We've been married for almost a year and we aren't pregnant. I know people who weren't trying that got pregnant. I know people that were trying that got pregnant. Yet here I sit. I can honestly say I've sat crying looking at some friends kids. It's just so hard.

Thoughts bounce around in my head. Why not me? Am I being punished for something? Is there something wrong with me?

I don't know I just needed to say that.