Friday, February 8, 2013

Getting to healthy

So I'm in this mood where I'm tired of being tired. I've gained a bunch of weight since I got married. When I started dating Daniel I was a size 18, now that's crept up to a 24. I had just gotten out of a relationship like 6 months before I met Daniel and had been deeply depressed so I wasn't eating. I mean at all. I dropped like 30lbs. I'd love to get back to that size again. I'd really like to be a 14/16. Which by most standards is still pretty big but I'd be happy with that.

My problem is that first and foremost I suffer from migraines. My migraines are triggered by heat and bright light. Living in the sunshine state isn't the best environment for someone with my condition. The reason that wreaks havoc on my weight loss goals is that I'm pretty much trapped in the house during the summer. Even something like sitting near a window without the blinds being closed or riding in the car without my sunglasses can trigger a migraine. They are also triggered by low pressure associated with storms and hurricanes. Once the migraine hits I'm done for the day. I have to go lay down in a cold dark room with meds until it passes. IF I'm lucky I wont be nauseous. IF I'm lucky the next day I wont be completely wiped of energy. IF lucky I've managed to think ahead for dinner if not it's gonna be take out. These migraines average to about 2-3 a week. I've tried every type of medicine to try to get them under control but nothing works. It's a struggle that I deal with. I miss events with family and friends. Daniel is forced to carry the burden of working full time and picking up what I can't do in the house.

Which leads to my second hurdle. I'm bi-polar. If you're not familiar with it it's where your mood swings from crazy happy to depressed all within a couple of minutes. For the most part my moods have balanced out as I've gotten older but I still have problems from time to time. I'll be all pumped up and start cleaning everything in the house only to crash a bit later unable to do anything but sleep. Not a lot of people know about me being bi-polar as I try hard to hide it. A few close friends know but they don't see me at my worst. I'm pretty upbeat around others. I think it's one of the main reasons I'm so direct. When your mood swings you don't have time to beat around the bush with people. People don't understand my directness and take it as a sign that I'm a negative person.

So with those cards stacked against me I'm starting to try to get healthy. I have this lofty idea that I'm going to run in next years Disney Princess Half Marathon. It's a goal I can try for. It isn't out of the realm of possibility since I have a year to start working towards it. Right now my focus is on trying to eat better, trying to cut back on boredom snacking and getting more active.

I know this isn't going to happen over night so even if I never make it to the Disney Marathon if I make my weight loss goals I'll still have finished my own person marathon.

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