Thursday, July 9, 2009

Me...unplugged.....

It's 1:20am, my head is throbbing and I'm trying to keep myself from being sick. Daniel is across the apartment sleeping. Not wanting to wake him with my tossing and turning I came in here. My mind refuses to sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see the video Daniel took of "our house". I see myself, along with my parents looking out the back window to the lake as Daniel pans around the kitchen. In the days after wining the house I'd watched that video thinking of where to put our coffee pot.

That seems so long ago. I was so happy then. I had images of Christmas parties, of walk babies and waving at neighbors in my mind. Now those images wont leave me alone.

Last update had us being happy of the prospect at another lender giving us a chance with another loan. That changed about 6 hours ago. See Daniel signed up for a credit monitoring program so we could be sure no fraud could happen to him while we were trying for the mortgage. We he got an email saying his credit rating had changed. We logged on and there was some bill that we had disputed a month ago showing up again. We called them and found out it was for a bill for movies that Daniel never order, that were never shipped to him and he never received. We were helpless but to pay it. It will be listed as paid by Friday but it may take 30 days to report. With that one little thing it lowered his credit that we are now worried will make him unable to apply for the new loan.

We can't win for losing. These last few days have been so hard on us. I want to keep my spirits up but I just can't anymore. I haven't been able to sleep really well. I know Daniel hasn't either.

I just don't know what else we can do. We just need a chance. We just need one break.

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